40 Day Fast::Day 3

Today I spent a lot of time searching. Not just searching for the remote control (Caleb is a complete remote hog!) or where Seth may have stashed Rob's lawnmower key...the only one we have.

The search is based on this reflecting question: Are there dark spots in my heart that may be keeping God from answering my prayers?

I asked God today to reveal my sins, even the teeniest of them, so that I could confess them to him and repent. Um, let's just say that God wasn't silent today. There's a lot of chaff in my life! Impatience, un-gentleness, laziness, worldliness, dishonesty...I could go on, and God DID go on, but this is awfully public and painfully personal.

I can't tell you that God is gripping us punitively by the shoulder because of these, but I can say with certainty that it doesn't matter how small the sin is, it keeps us away from God. Sure, I know when I'm being rebellious, and at the end of the day, I do feel sorry for whatever it is, yelling at one of the kids or choosing not to do something I know would be a blessing to my family just because I don't feel like it or watching a television show that dishonors God, and I do confess these to God. But I seem to be just as impatient or lazy or worldly the next day. Am I abusing God's grace???? God, please forgive me!!! I know that I can't be perfect, but I also know that I can make a better effort in many areas of my life.

Thank-you, God for the sacrifice of Jesus. I know that when you look at me, you see a daughter redeemed. But you are calling me to a deeper life...and I wanna go!

Comments

jeny said…
Jody, I am praying for you guys! It is wrenching my heart to read as you poor out yours. Thank you for being so vulnerable. I am trying to draw closer to my Father through your example.

p.s. I used the "paint" application on my pc and of course you can use it for anything you like!

love you,
jeny
January 12, 2008 at 1:28 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Shifting Sands

Image
You know those movie scenes where the camera is focused on a dazed and often wide-eyed character while the world zooms past in an unrecognizable blur? Or just imagine standing on the beach in springtime while chilly waves furl and curl and drag the sand right out from under your feet. That is a completely accurate description of my life this last month. I'm almost dizzy, close to fragile, barely comprehending the blur on either side of my head, toes gripping like mad to maintain balance. Sing with me, "On Christ the solid rock I stand; all other ground is sinking sand; all other ground is sinking sand." Yes. Second week of March : the kids and I travel to Indiana to be with my mom as she goes through surgery for cancer. Though the week was emotionally and physically exhausting, God worked out great things in her life. The tumor was contained, removed, declared stage one, no further treatment needed. Our family feels like we can exhale for the first time since her diag...
Read more

The Back-to-School Post, And It's as Wordy as the School Day is Long

Image
School's been going on strong from my four little scholars for the past three weeks. This is the first year in six years of homeschooling that we "officially" started school before Labor Day. What was the difference this year? I don't know. Often the seat of my pants flies before me, and I just follow along. Actually, the local public schools started on the 23rd, two of our close homeschooling family friends decided to start up, and it's just too bloomin' hot here right now to do much else. I don't have any cute pictures of them climbing on the bus or dressed up with their oversized backpacks and squeaky new shoes. But perhaps a few candids from inside our classroom might stir-up some nostalgic back-to-school feelings. So this is what it looked like in front of my chair for the three weeks prior to school: Every year our school changes flavor a little bit to match our family. Or because something we did last year didn't quite work, or because one kid h...
Read more

A Stranger at the Door

Last week, on a Sunday afternoon, our neighbor called. This wonderful neighbor and his wife are a tremendous blessing to us, and one of our biggest sorrows about having to move is leaving them. Neighbors like these come but once in a lifetime. On that afternoon, a repairman was working on our neighbor's furnace. For some reason, God laid it on our friend's heart to share with him that the family next door--that's us--had a heat pump that had not worked for two years and we were using a wood stove to heat our home. And God then moved in this repairman's heart to say, "Well, since I'm already out here, maybe I could go over and take a look at it." So we got a phone call from our neighbor asking us if it would be okay for his repairman to stop by and take a look. I was kind of confused, because 1.) If we could afford to have it fixed ($7000), we would have done that a long time ago, and 2.) We had already had it diagnosed, by the company that installed it, no...
Read more